Tuesday, February 20, 2007;
♥ 10:24 PM
My sis just told me my grandpa’s not feeling well. He went for a checkup and turns out that he has liver problems, slightly diabetic, and his cardiac troubles are recurring again. *worried. Gonna go see him tomorrow with my brother. Dunno what I can do for him anymore.
Looking back, my grandpa has been by my side forever, since the day I was born, literally. Ah-gong stayed with us since the day I was born. When I was a kid, my mum and dad’s always busy with work, and always leaves me at home with my ah-gong. Being a nasty kid, I was rebellious to boot, and I would bite, pinch and scream at my ah-gong. Ah-gong, the big, beefy, no-nonsense man that he was, always gave in to me. And he was there for the more memorable moments of my life. He was the one who brought me to kindergarten (then called pre-primary) on the first day. He was the one who scolded the girl who bullied me in school. He was the one who accompanied me to the dentist for my first baby-tooth extraction. As I grew up, my ah-gong grew old. It never occurred to me that my ah-gong would one day grow become old and ill. In my memory, he was always the one who would bring me for a uber long jog in Bishan park in the wee hours of the morning, or the one who would always shield me from my mum’s killer cane strokes.
I remembered in sec Four, ah-gong fell very ill. He was diagnosed with CAD, and there was a night we were all sleeping, when we heard a very loud “ klump”. My mum, being a light sleeper, rushed out only to find ah-gong fainted on the ground. Paramedics came, and the doc told us that ah-gong had to undergo a bypass surgery. This was the first time any of my family members had to undergo a major surgery and I was freaking worried. I remembered the day he had the surgery, I rushed down straight after school to the hospital. The docs told us that the surgery was a success, but there was a problem. Apparently my grandpa took too much Chinese herbs on his own, which thinned his blood and now the surgical wound wouldn’t clot. I remembered spending the entire night at the hospital, crying. Tensions and emotions ran high then, and I got into a huge spat with my uncle (he’s a jerk, take it from me.) so glad when ah-gong finaly woke up. This was the only time I saw him this weak. I only hen realized, how vunerable and old he’s getting. In the end, me and a superbly duperly great fren of mine (luv u chinx), visited my ah-gong on our own accord everyday after school at the hospital. Funnily, this small act of mine touched my ah gong a lot(basically cuz all non of his other grandchildren … a good ten over of them… didn’t)
Anyway, ah-gong slowly got better, but the turbulence didn’t end there. Maybe I wasn’t observant, but I didn’t realize that my father’s and ah-gong’s relationship got bad to worse. They didn’t see eye to eye for tons of stuff, and both of them were men with huge egos and of proud words. Its no wonder they kept offending each other in their conversation, to such the extent that dad started to avoid being in the same room with ah gong to prevent spats. All these happened the year I was in staying in PGP. Eventually, one day, dad felt that he couldn’t tolerate living under the same roof with my ah-gong anymore. So he kinda chased my ah-gong out of the house. (Well, we children really had no say in this matter, thing were THAT bad). I dun think I’ll ever forget the day, how my ah-gong sat in the living room and cursed my father, how my father screamed back, how my uncles came to fetch my ah gong away. The pieces were left for me and my sis to handle. We were kinda disowned on one side of the family, and for the first time in 19 yrs of my life, ah-gong was no longer by my side.
It was only a week later, that me and my sis braced up our courage and visited ah-gong. Although having to endure all the stares from my “extended family members”, I was glad I went. Ah gong was not angry with us, just my father, and mum. Over a week, ah-gong aged greatly. His hair turn so much more gray, he visibly lost weight.
This has been in the past, things had been over for over 3 years now. Ah-gong and dad is still not speaking, every new year is kinda like a painful reminder to all that happened. While me and my sis still visits my ah gong everytime we can, its getting lesser cuz we’re all so busy and I m so freaking a self obsessed freak. (gawd, I hate myself for this) I better go meet ah-gong tomorrow. I better go to the temple to pray for him on Friday. Pls god, pls bless him. Pls.
-xoxo- wilted petals of wine-coloured roses -xoxo-
